The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
