so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
