oh god the rape fog is back!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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