Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
