No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
