her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize