I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
