road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
