she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
