smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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