nut hugger
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
