Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
