Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
