people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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