PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
