Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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