she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
