i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
