my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
