I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
