I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Four minutes until I can fart!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
