Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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