So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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