Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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