i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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