thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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