And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
