my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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