and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
