Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It's blow job season.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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