Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
