By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
