Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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