is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
