its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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