Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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