My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
