is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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