: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
