there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
