She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We got so high we made milksteak
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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