even my farts smell like vagina
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
