And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
