I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
