Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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