i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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