??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i think my cat just said my name.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Help. Why am I so naked?
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