i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
