i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
