if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
