After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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