Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize