no you cant smoke seaweed
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
