coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
don't judge my taste in strippers
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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