Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She told me I should be a condom model.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
