Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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