ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
