seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
