i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
