sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
